If you follow me on social media, Instagram and Facebook specifically, you may have seen some of my stories where I am indoor bouldering (rock climbing) at the gym near my apartment. I've gotten so many kind and impressed viewers, so I figured I'd share a bit of my journey. It wasn't easy. But I am proud of myself every day for getting in shape and building these habits.
It all started in a shuttered Walgreens (as so many important tales do). It had been empty for months, welcoming in a few unhoused squatters and loosely painted graffiti. A couple years ago I passed by and noticed it had turned into a climbing gym. Like, with rock walls and everything! How cool would that be to be into that, I thought longingly every time I passed by. I filed it under impossible dreams, right below skydiving but above traveling to Antarctica (I can't stand the cold).
In March of 2023, I received my long sought after diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'm planning on doing a longer post about this whole process, because being diagnosed later in life and of my own choice was quite impactful for me. I had long suspected I was somewhere on the spectrum, what used to be called "Asperger's Syndrome" or "high functioning" (bold of you to assume I funtion).
The doctor I was seeing, who specialized in developmental disorders and autism spectrum disorder, plainly told me, "Autism is a spectrum. You're somewhere on that spectrum." Having that validity in my struggles was so meaningful. I had been diagnosed with ADHD at age 19, and while I can now see all the signs and symptoms, it came as a bit of a surprise. Now, having this doctor, who had listened to my life story, heard my anxieties around crowds and constant overstimulation, my social struggles and my desire to belong-- having him say that yes, I am autistic-- it marked an important mental shift in my life.
Over the next few months, I began to take care of my physical body in ways I had neglected over the years. I got my teeth fixed, which I had been struggling with brushing and caring for up until then. I now use and electric toothbrush and am very proud to say at my last visit I had no cavities!
I booked an appointment with a primary care doctor in Berkeley, a doctor who specialized in combining Eastern and Western medicine in a way that would make my Bubbie, a blessed memory, very happy. I got blood tests done and for the first time in five years I went to the doctor.
My blood sugar levels were high and I was carrying a lot of extra weight. I was tired a lot of the time and while my mental health had never been better, my physical body needed work. The doctor suggested I cut down on sweets and start exercising (I did 1/2).
With a mindset now knowing my limitations due to Autism and ADHD (AuDHD, for short), I knew I had to develop a habit that was easy to maintain and accessible to me. The closest places to me were a couple of dance studios and this rock climbing gym. Ideally, I was looking for a yoga studio or an everyday gym, but the climbing gym was close and open late. I could go after work, and I'd heard of this Jewish affinity climbing group that sounded cool. I bought my first pair of climbing shoes at REI and I committed to it.
Something that helps me a lot, and maybe it can help you too, is the idea of an "onramp", or mini habit. Instead of telling myself I had to go to the gym and work out for half an hour (after a full day of work mind you), I told myself I had to go to the gym and put on my climbing shoes. That was it. And if I walked there and got in my shoes and still didn't want to climb, I could take them off and leave. But just getting there felt like most of the struggle was already done. I could start working out.
Don't get me wrong: rock climbing is HARD. It was hard, it still is. It took me I think two months before I could even get up on the wall. Not even to the top-- I was struggling to just pull up my body weight onto a foothold. It was even longer before I could make it to the top.
But I did, and I have. I started filming clips of myself so I could work on my technique and watch myself back, but with an outpouring of support, I decided to start positing these clips on social media. It's rewarding to have a skill that impresses people.
So here I am, ten months or so into it, with a climbing community of friends and a healthy heart rate for once in my life. I am still afraid of heights, still worried about falling, and still don't love doing top rope (climbing with a belay partner on a rope very high up). But I get to be proud of myself. I get to work hard at a hobby that is hard, and reap the benefits of good health.
It's a good feeling.
