Is emotional labor tax deductible?

As tax day approaches (although the end of the tax year already passed in December), I figured it would be timely to put in my two cents (pun intended) about the changing dynamic of charity and funding as it relates to the digital platform.

There has been a rise in the political left to start acknowledging the toll of unpaid emotional labor. Before you go all "liberal snowflake tears" on me, let's take a second and acknowledge the issue.



Everyone provides unpaid emotional labor at some point in one way or another. This could be in the form of comforting a friend after their pet dies, picking up your neighbors mail when they are on vacation, or lending your notes to a classmate when they are sick.

Note in all of these examples, there is a kind of mutual understanding. There may be a direct return, such as your neighbors having you over for dinner after their trip or your friend giving you a hug and expressing their gratitude.

We do these things because there is this back and forth. There is a sort of "emotional labor bank account" with those you are close to, where the understanding is that there is this reciprocity and this relationship is a two way street.

Now I'll go liberal snowflake.

The idea that you are entitled to someone else's unpaid emotional labor is incredibly prevalent in communities and people of privilege, especially if said privilege holders do not acknowledge their privilege. (Privilege, privilege, privilege-- let's piss off the conservatives a bit more shall we?)

Let's use a quick example especially frequent in my life: child care.

No, I am not talking about babysitting when I don't get paid enough for handling screaming children. I am referring to the everyday events when women are expected to care for children in a way men are not.

There is an emotional bank account to this, and I am much more assertive than most in clarifying my boundaries. For example, Thanksgiving I entertained my little cousins all night. I was not paid, but I was given many compliments and gratitude and overall I felt fulfilled in my emotional bank account. This is good. Despite what capitalism might have you believe, money is not the only way to compensate labor.

Now to the title of this post: "Is emotional labor tax deductible?"

I have seen a growing movement online of people of color and members of oppressed groups to express their desire, if not their need and demand, to be compensated for explaining things to white people, through a request for compensation via paypal or venmo.

And of course my first thought, being the granddaughter that I am, was: "is this charity, and if so, can it be tax deductible?"

No, obviously not. There are many wonderful 501(c)3 organizations that will provide tax benefits for your donations, but my Facebook friend's Venmo is not one of them.

I think the real question here is: why do these individuals of color feel the need to ask for financial compensation? If this is emotional labor, and you know, we're friends and all that, why are they asking me to pay?

It's a question I cannot necessarily answer. I am sure everyone has their own reason for wanting to be financially motivated to teach their fellow privileged classmates. But I think, deep down, it is acknowledgement. For me, at least (and I did a post on it here), it gets exhausting to be constantly expressing emotional labor and not receiving a valid form of compensation and reciprocity.

So if that means demanding payment, that may be the first step in acknowledging what each of us take for granted, what we are entitled to and what we can repay.