A Good Day

This morning, I woke up with a pounding headache and the vague recollection of terrible nightmares. Last night, I wrote an open and honest post about the difficulties of settling back into college. The act of writing the post was therapeutic in a way, and I went to sleep feeling better than I had felt in days.

Despite my pounding headache, general tired and sick feeling, and nightmares I couldn't quite remember over the night, I made the decision that today would be a good day. I was done having bad days. I've had quite enough of those, and I'm going to start this week on the right foot.

(Re)Defining Success

In the past three days, I have cried three times (at least). Not for any major reason-- no one close to me died, and I couldn't even blame it on PMS. I've cried on the phone with my parents, I cried walking back from Starbucks. Heck, I'm crying right now. And that's okay.

Let's back up a bit. I'm on my third week of classes of my senior year of college. On paper, the classes sound perfect for me. I'm in Creative Journalism, Conspiracy Theories Theory, Study of Lives Psych course, and Cognitive Film Studies. I've got a couple regular babysitting jobs and my knitting is looking better than ever. My friends are back from abroad and I'm living on campus (albeit, in a significally smaller space than I am used to.) Some days, I still feel like I am breaking.

I tell myself to think positive, that this will pass. And it will, and I know that. I make sure I am taking my medications, eating right, and drinking water. I shower daily and get dressed and I go out. Even if I struggle to go through the motions, I am still miles ahead of the me that's still lying in bed.

Some nights I miss my parents and my sister because in the end, I am still growing up. I missed a lot of years in high school due to misdiagnosis, and my social skills are lacking. College can be lonely, even when you are a senior. That's okay.

Free Printable Watercolor Binder/Notebook Covers!

Happy new school year! Is that a thing? We should make it a thing. Whatever, I love the new academic year. The new school year is filled with new opportunities and pretty sketch notes and new planners. (As you can tell, I'm not exactly a party girl).