Speaking Up, Speaking Out

My journey of de-stigmitization

Dedicated to my inspiring sister, Shayna

For my younger sister's high school senior project, she decided to record and present stories of mental illness in an attempt to further de-stigmatize our community discussion around mental illness. I could not be prouder or more impressed by her final project and presentation, in which she also spoke of her personal struggles with chronic anxiety and the pain she suffered watching me suffer all those years ago.

Shayna spoke of the pain she held onto as she was forced to stay silent, hold in this family secret of how badly I was doing. We told no one of my diagnosis, out of fear of judgement and isolation. Shayna had to spend long hours in the waiting room of doctor's offices, alone and lonely, holding so many secrets and the stigma and forced to grow up before she even hit puberty.

I highly recommend checking out her project, two podcast episodes that are very professionally done and that she worked long hours on. She also collaborated with the mental health project at our synagogue, Rodef Shalom, a further indication of how far our whole family has come away from the years of silence and fear and illness. 

I've shared my story of mental illness on this blog, which if you haven't read, I highly recommend you check it. It is a rather poetic overview of the long and hell-ish journey I went through to come to this moment of clarity and expression.

A well-renowned psychology, Abraham Maslow, proposed a "hierarchy of needs" in a 1943 paper regarding human motivation. The highest level is proposed to be "self-actualization", when the individual is able to move past all deficit needs and achieve a higher state of being. With this blog, I attempt to pursue that state of self-actualization and creative expression, to perhaps pursue my role and my goal in this world.

However, there are some modern thinkers who propose an even higher level-- one of giving back to your community. That once you have achieved and fulfilled your purpose, you can use your gift to better your community and the world around you.

I don't know if I have done that, but maybe I have. Maybe I have inspired others to speak their truths, or even just to admit to themselves that what they are going through is okay. That being clinically abnormal does not make you broken, but that your story and your truth is part of who you are and who you will become. 

Shayna, I am so proud of you and I love you to the ends of the Earth. Keep speaking your truth and sharing your story, and helping the rest of the world to open up their souls as well.

With love and strength,

Rivi