Tragedy Overload

Saturday I woke up to breaking news of another mass shooting. Barely a day has gone by since the pipe bomb suspect was arrested and now we have something else. My heart broke as I clicked the news video, and it sank deep into my chest as I learned, in horror, that this one was targeted at a synagogue.

Something in me broke.

Something I had been pushing around for some time now, a sense of doom and hopelessness and sadness. This morning, I felt it. The utter sense of sorrow, of grief, of acceptance of tragedy. The point I realize I cannot leave, I am not immigrating to Europe, this is real and this is my life now. This is our American reality.

Each time something happens, I tell myself I am done. I will fight this. I will vote. I will protest. I will move far away from this dystopian reality. But this morning, as 8 souls were snatched from this world and hundreds of lives forever changed, I just sank.

I checked my Facebook obsessively. I shared a post, I followed the breaking news. My feed was filled with Jewish friends and family sharing outrage and non-Jewish friends expressing fear and sadness.

I didn't know if I could take it anymore. So I stopped.

I turned it off. I clicked away. I put mu phone on silent and my media on pause, just for a minute. And you know what? It was okay.

I made myself some iced tea. I changed my sheets. I tidied my floor. I cast on a new knitting project. And it felt alright.

No, it didn't solve anything. The news was still there when I got back, and the hurt and the pain came rushing back. But that afternoon, I needed some time to shut off before I shut down.



It's okay to turn off the news! I promise you, it's okay. Set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes. Put on some music. Zone out for a bit. Do your laundry. Wash the dishes. Do things that make you feel in control and organized when the world seems to be falling apart.

I wish we lived in a world where I could truly unplug. I remember in second grade, we had an assignment to do a "no tv week". For a full week, we had to turn off the television, the computer, and write down the fun activities we did when we weren't glued to the glowing box. I remember I made a smoothie, and played Polly Pockets with my sister, and read those paper things called books that no one uses anymore ;) .

Today, I wonder if I can make it more than 15 minutes without being plugged in. It's unfortunate, and it's a habit, and maybe I can start to learn to cut back.

Because it's a lot. And sometimes, all we need is a few minutes of quiet tidying, a smoothie, and some self care, and we can continue on.

With love and strength,

Rivi