If you've been reading my blog for a while, you may know that I am currently experiencing different levels of depression, and have been for quite some time. There's a lot of factors that go into this, including my history of clinical depression, but it would be silly to ignore the elephant in the room (and I'm not talking about Trump! As repulsive and unseemly as he may be...)
COVID restrictions and quarantine continues trudging along in America, along with the apprehension that was election season. Luckily, we did get a Biden-Harris administration, which I am excited about, but the state of our country and our world is very much still in flux.
Here's the reality of my situation: much like our country, I'm on the right path but there's a long way to go.
I remember the excitement on the morning the race was called for Biden. I was staying at my parent's house, having gone to them for support during a particularly difficult day with depression and anxiety. It was early on Saturday morning, an eternity after the election should have been called. I raced up to my parent's bedroom, shouting to the heavens that the race was called, Biden won, we had a future to hold out hope for.
Something I have been doing more often, which I am so grateful I am able to do, is visit my parents. I live in Berkeley (about half an hour drive away), but don't have a car. So, when the going gets tough, my parents are always willing to come pick me up (with my dirty laundry because yes, I am an adult who still does her laundry at her parent's house).
If you have family or friends who are close enough to visit, I highly recommend reaching out. We are so lonely in this quarantine time, and be safe of course, but have a plan for bad days. On my next post, I will write about all the things I can do on my own to help me feel better, but have a fallback option. Have somewhere you can go, someone you can hug, and a place you can call home.
You may be surprised how willing and able family members or friends will be to welcome you in on a tough day. To quote one of my favorite authors, Jenny Lawson: "Depression lies." It really does. It may whisper that you are a burden, that you are too much or not enough. Depression lies. Remind yourself that the people in your life love you and care for you, and there are many who will welcome you with open arms when the seas run rough. And then reach out to them.
Get a change of pace, a shift in space, a happy place. Although I feel very comfortable in my apartment in Berkeley, it can be incredibly recharging to go home to my parents, to eat a home cooked meal that my mom made special for me, and to curl up on the couch watching some weird documentary as my dad plays solitaire on his phone and my mom "rests her eyes" (it's falling asleep. She falls asleep. Every time.)
You are not in this alone, despite how lonely it may feel. You have love and support and light in your life. Reach out, if you can. And if you are in a position to help others, do that. We all need support sometimes, and we all can give back at times too. Reach out for support, or to give support. No one has to be alone in this.
With love,
Rivi
If you need help, here are a few texts that can work (with anxiety, it can be tough to find the right words, so here's a cheat sheet)
"I want to be productive, can you hold me accountable?" (I use this one with my dad and my friends all the time)
"This picture/meme/quote made me think of you!" (A way to reach out other than asking how someone is doing)
"What are you up to? I'm struggling a bit and could use support."
"Hey, I'm having a tough time. Are you around to talk?"
"Can we go on a socially distanced walk/hike/outdoor visit?"
"How's your mental health? Mine isn't great and I would love some support if you can offer."
"Can you send some virtual hugs? I'm having a bad day."
"I need some good vibes right now. Can you send some in my direction?"
"Mental health isn't great right now. I need a friend. Are you free to check in or hang out?"
"Want to grab some coffee or tea? I need a boost."
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