My thoughts regarding the Netflix edits around the season one suicide scene
Trigger Warning: Depression, Mental Illness, Suicide, Self-Harm
Note: I will be discussing very heavy themes such as suicide, self-harm, and mental illness. Please always remember to take care of yourself and know that your mental well-being is more important than any article or written piece
I was honored to write a guest post for the prominent news site HuffPost, where I shared my thoughts regarding the first season of the Netflix series "13 Reasons Why". Here is the post, I highly recommend reading it prior to this updated thoughts post.
I did not watch any farther than season one. While I had originally enjoyed the series, the more time I spent reflecting on it the more problematic it became. Not only because a lot of the topics covered in the show were triggering for me personally, but because the manner in which they were tackled was problematic to say the least.
Ahead of the season three release, Netflix opted to remove a controversial and graphic scene from the first season, depicting the main character's suicide act. This was seen by many, myself included, as too little, too late. The weeks and months following the Netflix release led to an increase in the teen suicide rate, as well as an uptick in searches with keywords relating to suicide. While it is important to note that correlation is not causation (i.e. just because these tragedies corresponded with the release does not fault Netflix for this) and there are likely many other variables leading to this result. However, the correlation cannot and should not be ignored.
Here is my honest, straightforward, personal opinion on the series, as a psychology major, a mental health advocate, and a suicide survivor:
Stop. Don't watch it. Don't let your kids watch it. There are better shows and better movies to spend your time on. The series as a whole is depressing, tragic, horrifying, and glamorizes mental illness and suicide.
Now, for the personal. I suffered years of mental illness in high school. My full story is here, and of course I am a work in progress. Another thing that a lot of people miss, that I myself missed in my dark times, is the realities of suicidal ideation.
If you have trouble with this topic, I refer you back to my original content warning at the beginning of this post. Remember your mental health is way more important than reading my blog at this exact moment in time. Come back if you need to. It'll be here when you're ready.
I was so lucky to have a family who supported me unconditionally and would do anything to make sure I was safe and okay. This is one reason why, despite numerous sleepless nights and spiraling anxiety, I was never hospitalized. And for that, I am so grateful. From what I have heard from friends who have been in in-patient mental health treatment programs, it is a truly awful experience.
This is not to say that if you, a friend, or a family member are in immediate danger you should try to manage it on your own. STOP. CALL FOR HELP. The police tend to be dangerously undertrained and may do more harm than good, so I recommend trying to reach out to a hospital or emergency mental health services line prior to calling 911. Use your best judgement of course, and take whatever action is needed at the time.
There are stages of suicidal impulse-- it is not merely a decision one day to take your own life. I know this personally and through academic study as a psychology major. Generally, an individual with suicidal thoughts can manage for a very long time without ever taking action or even planning on taking action. It is more of "I wish this pain would end" or "I wish I didn't have to deal with this" rather than actually wanting to die.
In addition, it is somewhat normal for people, like myself, who experienced severe depression and anxiety from an early age, to relapse in a way and retreat into suicidal ideation. We developed in a somewhat fragmented way to deal with this feeling. Although logically we know we do not want to die, we may not understand a way to cope with the need to escape other than suicidal thoughts. For me, writing and art plays a huge role in my healing, allowing me to express myself in a creative rather than destructive way.
There is a lot to unpack here, but this is all I have for now. It is something I am grappling with in regards to the news about "13 Reasons Why", and it has brought up a lot of issues that had been long forgotten in my recovery process.
If I have any advice for parents, friends, and caregivers: support. Show the struggling soul that you are there, that you care. If that means just sitting with your son or daughter as they cry, that may be enough. If that means more constant supervision because you are afraid of what they might do, please, do that. Be with them physically even if they are emotionally and mentally crumbling.
Other specifics: do your own research. Especially for someone struggling with mental illness, it helps to have an outside perspective. While this can and probably should mean professional help, such as therapy or medical advice, it can also mean finding reputable books and websites that can help you understand where to start, where to go, and acknowledge that no one is alone. The internet has done a lot of pretty sucky things, but it has some bright places in there too.
You are so worthy. You have so much to live for. You've made it this far-- I believe in you. Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep living.
With love and strength,
Rivi
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