I wrote a post about a week ago, lamenting the everyday frustrations of being an adult, building furniture, cooking for myself, and having it all go wrong. But the title was inspired by a different issue. A political lament. A hostile government takeover. A righteous anger at an ongoing system of injustice.
Allow me to elaborate.
In one of my favorite children's books of all time, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day", our titular character bemoans lists of grievances of his terrible day. Every few pages, Alexander contemplates moving to Australia, and these days, I feel that in my soul.
It was around the time I wrote that post that Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" was narrowly passed and has quickly moved to become law. I don't know why this was what broke me, but it was.
In case you don't know, I am incredibly left leaning. Moving to Berkeley in 2019 only solidified that, with my political philosophy falling somewhere around the anarchist socialist stance. I believe that my 4 year old students should have the autonomy to choose their pronouns and be supported for their gender identity, whatever that may be. I believe abortions are a morally neutral medical choice that should be widely available, regardless of what state you live in. Yes, I am that radical lefty feminist conservatives are terrified of.
At this point, I do need to clarify that these are my opinions only and they are fully disconnected from my teaching work and my profession (at a recent staff meeting, teachers were reminded to keep our social medias private so that we can appear professional in our field. These are my opinions only and this is my personal blog)
Anyway.
When Trump first ran for president in 2016, I was a bright eyed bushy tailed college sophomore at a small liberal college, confident I would be witness to the first woman president in American history. I had a rude awakening in store.
After Trump won over Ohio in 2016, a classmate leaned over, telling me that this was it. He won Ohio, that's the sign he'll win the election. I was devastated and heartbroken. America would never be the same. We made history, and not in a good way.
Here was Donald Trump, this television promoted rich guy with no experience at all in politics or governance, changing history and the country I was so comfortable in. Not the outcome I was hoping for, to say the least.
Over the next week, I painstakingly searched for new countries to move to. New Zealand sounded nice. What about Australia? Maybe I'll move to Australia.
And to this day, I still get emails from New Zealand immigration and job hunting sites, a feeble reminder of that hope, that desire to burn every bridge here and run.
And yet, I'm still here. Despite everything, I am still here.
Then the 2024 election went for Trump again, and I wanted to scream and cry and run far, far away, and yet I knew-- I knew I would remain.
Part of growing up, being the 29 year old woman I am today, reminds me that I am stronger than the storm. I may be undyingly angry and on the edge of hopelessness, but the best choice for me is to persevere despite everything.
About a year and a half ago, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. Maybe that's a story I'll tell another day, because it was a terrible time to be a neurodivergent woman in burnout. But it did remind me that the storm will always pass. Always.
I learned about dialectical behavioral therapy, skills and techniques that elevate my healing and ability to process difficult emotions. I learned that even when I have nothing, when I am trapped and depressed and angry and hopeless, I still have me. I am even more resilient than I knew possible, and that resilience will get me far.
Despite everything, I will fight the storm. I will look up at the heavens, at the unfair systems and the political unrest and the absurdity that is America today, and I will know that I am still strong. I can speak for myself, I can share my voice. I am just one person, just one woman, but I will weather the storm to build a better tomorrow for everyone.
That's who I am. That's who I will be. That's all I need to know, to stand tall against the storm.
With love and strength,
Rivi
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