About a week ago I wrote part 1 of this post expressing my frustration around the lengthy and difficult monthly process of attaining my much-needed stimulant medication. (And to anyone wondering, yes, I did get my medication. Emotional Labor sold separately).
The second part of this post, what I am writing here, regards the abuse of stimulant medication.
To start, I am not attacking anyone who illegally purchases Adderall or Ritalin to cram for a test. Coffee is a stimulant, and a regular part of American daily life. I'm writing this post at Starbucks with a mocha by my side. My argument is not against using stimulants or against the choice students make to do whatever it takes to get the A.
"Whatever it takes to get an A" was the title of a panel discussion at Pomona College, one I did not go to (although I was interested in the topic). From the event page:
"The Claremont Radius is excited to introduce Study Drugs: Whatever it Takes to Get an A, a debate panel focusing on the ethics and health effects of study drugs. More specifically, the effects of Adderall. The panel will consist of 5 panelists, 4 students and one doctor, representing a variety of view points and levels of expertise. Debate will focus on exploring the variety of reasons which both prevent and influence the abuse of study drugs on college campuses. The panel will be held November 17th, 2017 at 7pm in the Davidson Lecture Hall of Claremont Mckenna College"
(https://www.facebook.com/events/2028750790729944/)
Because I did not attend the event, obviously I cannot discuss what was said there or the realities of the panel. But as you can tell from my last post, I have a lot of struggles, both internally and externally, in regards to how I treat my ADHD. There are days where I choose not to take my medication, and those days usually consist of Netflix, eating, and sleeping.
You may be thinking, Wait Rivi, you didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until college. You were a successful student without this stimulant medication. Now, suddenly, you can't function without it? What gives?
You are correct, imaginary other half of this conversation. I was not diagnosed until after my Freshman year of college, when it became increasingly clear that I was not able to prioritize, plan ahead, and the in general sense "adult" like a neurotypical college student. My homework was crammed 30 minutes before class started, and I told myself I worked better under pressure. My days were scattered, I missed appointments, and I slept a lot but it wasn't depression. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring of my first year, and I started taking medication for it around that time.
Again, what gives? Well, if you'll allow me to very quickly summarize some key deficits in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, hopefully this will make a lot more sense.
One of the key aspects I struggle with is executive functioning. This means I struggle with planning ahead, seeing through consequences, staying on task, impulse control, finishing what I started, and a host of other similar traits. I'll include an infographic below.
The reason this may not have been spotted until college was my above average parents, who I am forever grateful for. If you think of the typical "mom activities", such as packing snacks, cleaning the house, making appointments and helping you get there in time, supervising homework and study time-- all of that kind of stuff my parents were very good at. My brain, not so much.
I do need to stop at this point and clarify that this is NOT cause for my ADHD. My parents being supportive may have masked an underlying diagnosis by externally providing me with the traits and processes my brain did not naturally implement. So, as I left home and moved away from my parents, I also left what was working as my executive functioning system.
My parents do still act in many ways as a bonus executive functioning. My dad texts me reminders throughout the day to check in and see how I'm doing. The first year of taking my medication I would text my dad what time I took my medication, so I could track its effects and also because working memory problems in ADHD affect my ability to remember if I took my medication.
There are other external executive function systems I will use that may even help you, regardless of brain quirks.
1) Support system: I have my parents, and my dad especially, text me to check in. I also have "accountability buddies" I will text when I have a specific project I want to complete. These friends will check in with me via text message or help me form a plan.
Study buddies can also be very helpful in this regard. Having another person with you, given that they are also staying on task, can be a gentle reminder of what you should be doing.
2) Planner: Having a planner is so crucial. If you have spent any time with me on an average day, you will know I am obsessed with my planner. I have gone through multiple versions, including the Bullet Journal System and the current planner I use, the Happy Planner (more on that in a future post).
3) Visual reminders: These can be as simple as a sticky note on your mirror that says, "don't forget to floss!" or printable signs and notes placed to keep you focused on a process.
4) Lists: My lovely friend Lizzette helped me create a system to clean my dorm, which I typed up and I keep on my door. That way, if I start cleaning my floor and then get distracted by yarn (because, let's be real, yarn is amazing and very distracting), I can check the list/sign and go back to the task at hand. Any multi-step process where I am likely to get distracted may benefit from a step by step checklist.
Dorm Cleaning Checklist
Hope these tips are helpful, and I hope my story of ADHD may begin to dispel some myths and common stereotypes about ADHD.
From strength to strength,
Rivi
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